Doylestown is holding a contest for the best old-style mustache. It’s part of a series of events marking the town’s 200th year as the Bucks County seat.
The idea is to grow one of those massive lip-rugs that guys in old photographs used to wear with deadly serious expressions – waxed handlebar winglets, or droopy, unwaxed soup-strainers.
They’ll be judging them on Saturday, June 2 at the Town Picnic at the Doylestown YMCA. The winner gets four tickets to an upcoming Phillies game.
The judges will be staff members of Impact Hair Designs, staff from L.A.D. & Co. Hairdressing, and a dead guy – Henry Mercer (June 24, 1856 to March 2, 1930), a famous lifelong Doylestown resident with a famous Doylestown mustache.
Presumably this will be some sort of Henry Mercer impersonator. Otherwise, this means they’ve dug up his body – his mustache having continued to grow after death into evil, sweeping proportions – and town officials will point Mercer’s dead boney finger at the lucky, lucky winner.
They probably just have an impersonator.
Anyway, anybody who can grow a mustache is qualified – whether or not you live in Doylestown, according to the contest’s Facebook page administrator. The town also has a place for you in the Memorial Day Parade. You just have a month and a week to grow something. Come on. Push.