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Some lucky, lucky couple could win themselves a free pregnancy

Pretty, ain't it. Enter this raffle, and you might win one.

A fertility center is giving away a free baby.

This is literally true, more or less. Representatives from Shady Grove Fertility Center – which has several offices in the mid-Atlantic region – will be swinging through the Philadelphia area in a couple of weeks. And if you sit through their seminar, you might – just might – win a free donor egg cycle.

That’s right, m’friends, step right up. It’s a $13,000 process of cultivating and harvesting gen-u-ine donor’s eggs, then fertilizing them in a lab, squeezing them into your uterus and treating you to a pregnancy test. And if the good Lord’s willin’ and the crick don’t rise, you give birth to a thinking, feeling human being for free, FREE, FREE!!

(Not including medications, prescreening, tests performed outside Shady Grove Fertilities, treatment/surgery costs of side effects or complications, hospital charges, pesa/teas/tese/testicular mapping services and associated facility fees, urologist charges, social worker charges, assisted hatching, microdissection, PGD biopsy, cryopreservation and storage fees, pregnancy blood work, ultrasounds and office visits, donor fees, donor prescreening or donor medications, or gestational carrier fees.)

FREE!!

Then someday, when your child asks where babies come from, you can truthfully say you won him as a door-prize.

“Well, Norman, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they go to a conference room at the Radnor Hotel in St. Davids and listen to some people give a sales pitch for an hour. Then that man or that woman wins a drawing, and that’s why you were born to us and not to that awful couple from Darby who smelled like pine cleaner.”

Beyond that, the seminar involves listening to a Shady Grove Fertility physician and a former patient talk about the Center’s donor egg program. It takes place on Saturday, April 14 at the Radnor Hotel, from 11 a.m. to noon. Click here if you want to register for it.

About Barry Lank

Like most people, Barry Lank was editor of the Courier-Post opinion page in Cherry Hill. He currently also writes for The Final Edition. Police say he's calling from inside your house. Get out now! | View all posts by Barry Lank